The Magical Land of Wozz, Part 8 – There She Blows, There She Blows Again

Hello heroes! Last time in The Magical Land of Wozz, our team arrived in Ghost Castle and found out that a young ghost boy with a heart condition went missing during his search for an offering to the Great Elephant. Chun got some character development and then we foiled Balam’s plans to take over the Great Elephant and sent his demon minions packing! Let’s boogie into this next bit and go save the final Holy Beast, the Great Serpent.


With our party relaxed and refreshed, we leave Ghost Castle and head south to the town of Skelfortress. Nothing seems off when we arrive, so no need to rush off to the castle just yet. We go to the Inn and learn from one of the Skeletons that there is some kind of ruckus happening within the castle, but no one knows what’s going on since it’s not really causing any issues. We also hear a rumor that some tower appeared in the center of Undetta and people think Balam himself is taking refuge there. We should take note of this for later! After we’re done exploring, our heroes head up to the Skelfortress Castle and get a first hand listen to all the noise coming from behind the door. Balam’s minions have invaded the castle! Was anyone going to tell us? (Not that we didn’t already know, but still.) One of the citizens cries out that the Great Serpent is in danger, so Chun suggests we split up to tackle the three entrances and get to the Serpent before it’s too late. Leona takes one door while Shot takes the other, leaving Chun and Madisto to venture through the castle together. Unlike the other two Holy Beast Strongholds, this one was quite challenging to navigate. There were a lot of staircases leading all over the place and just as many teleportals to zap you into other rooms. We finally reach an opening on one of the upper floors, but our duo can’t traverse it due to an extremely strong wind. They get knocked back into the wall and uncover a note that says ‘The center of the 5 aligned serpents.’

Or maybe you’re stiff because you’re literally bones?

We backtrack to a hallway near the end of the dungeon and examine the middle of 5 serpent carvings, which reveals a switch that stops the wind from blowing down the upper hallway. Chun and Madisto then hurry back upstairs to proceed onward, where we run into one of the Skeleton guards shouting that the monsters have invaded the Great Serpents room. We enter and find Shot and Leona have already arrived and are fending off another of Balam’s lackeys, Don Clover. We fight Don in another uneventful boss battle. This portion of the game doesn’t have very challenging boss fights. After his defeat, Don tells us that we’ll never be able to defeat Queen Artemis before poofing away. Now that the Great Serpent is safe, it thanks us and teaches Leona how to build a new weapon before warning us about Queen Artemis. Despite working as an agent of Balam, the Serpent claims her power rivals Balam’s and urges us to be careful. The shouting guard from earlier tells us that he heard monster groans coming from the tower in the middle of the continent (known as Anthill Tower), so we should probably head there next. As the heroes leave the castle, they pass through the wind hallway and Chun stops to ask Leona and Shot how they managed to get past the obstacle. Shot laughs and we get a cute moment where he shows an embarrassed Chun that there was a switch right next to the entrance that shut the wind off. We leave Skelfortress and get intercepted by Porun again. You remember Porun, right? Sullivan’s parrot/raven messenger? He lets us know that Balam is gathering his troops at Anthill Tower, so the party agrees it’s time to go shut it down!

Time to head to the center of Undetta and smash an Anthill…Tower…

The party arrives at Anthill Tower and quickly finds out that the entrance is locked. Leona can’t figure out an alternate path in, but Chun suggests we try to get through a giant hole above the front door that is just out of reach. Shot, finally using his head, decides to tie a rope around one of his arrows and fires it into the hole, allowing us to climb into the hole and infiltrate the tower. Inside, we immediately find another one of Eoria’s cats, which means more treasure once we get a chance to go visit her! Much like Skelfortress, there are a bazillion staircases in this dungeon and I got lost for a little bit. Eventually, we make our way to the basement and run into none other than Queen Artemis herself.

There she is. The great Queen Artemis in all of her bugged out glory.

Queen Artemis sasses our party, but Chun, with his new found confidence, mouths off right back to her and tells her that we’ve defeated all of her minions, so she should just give up now. She scoffs at him and warns him that too much courage will lead to death, and then she tells us to be good little children and die quietly before attacking the party. Queue boss battle! This battle was mildly challenging. Most of her attacks would hit the whole group and some of them inflicted DPoisn, which is a stronger version of regular poison and can only be cured through certain magic spells or an Antidote B. Also, she straight up shot baby demon bugs out of her chooch, so she gets points for being a nasty bitch. Alas, she’s no match for our heroes and we quickly defeat her. Now that Queen Artemis is gone, we leave Anthill Tower to find Ceramic waiting outside of the entrance. What’s she doing here? Madisto steps forward to explain that he wishes to go back to devoting all of his time and effort to the research he left behind, so he called Ceramic to come take his place in the party. Chun expresses his disappointment, but he understands Madisto’s passion is in his science and assures him that the party will remain vigilant and go defeat Balam. Before he leaves, Madisto teaches Chun two group healing spells (Finally!) and suggests we visit Illuse, a village of illusionists on the western continent. He tells us we’ll need a ship to get there, so he instructs us to head south to Dictator and see if we can secure one there.

Goodbye my healy scientist! I hope you come back!

We take Madisto’s advice and head south to Dictator to see if we can get a ship. When we arri— OH. MY. SWEET. BABY. JESUS. It’s an entire town of the Cow Nuns! In all honesty, I have no idea what these sprites are supposed to be. From one angle they look like the could be angry robots with habits on. From another they look like soft, pudgy cow nuns. But whatever they are, they are cute and I love them and I want to find artwork of them because they are everything. Ahem…anyway, I forgot to mention that I don’t want Ceramic in my party, so I swapped her out for Eliza as soon as we arrived at Dictator. Our heroes find out that most of the citizens are out of work due to pirates that have been terrorizing the city. As we investigate further, we find out that the pirates’ base is located in the southern tip of Illuse and they have stolen everyone’s Shono Stones, which are needed to make ships able to sail across the sea. Think of them like a spark plug in an engine. One of the citizens heard a rumor that there is one Shono Stone left in town, so we set off to find it. Arriving at the southern docks, we run into Iceyes trying to peddle some tasty squid to us. Leona asks what happened to her Snowcone shop, and she tells us she’s still interested in opening it but she needs to get to Illuse. Girl…you’re a fairy. Just fly there!

Iceyes is a WORKING GIRL!

Our heroes finally run into someone at the bar that tells us about a hidden passage under the town’s warehouse, and also shares that the townsfolk hid their treasures there to keep them safe from the pirates. If you’re going to tell LITERAL STRANGERS of your secret hiding spot, it’s probably not that secret, now is it? I guess we look trustworthy, because this citizen opens the previously locked warehouse for us to explore. Hopefully there is a Shono Stone down here! We head to the warehouse and go down into the basement to find the secret underwater passage, but there’s not much to this place other than some normal monster fights and a few treasure chests. Eventually we get our hands on a Shono Stone, which means Leona can finally craft our boat! When the party exits the warehouse, the screen shakes and one of the Cow Nuns announces that pirates are attacking Dictator. Shot suggests that the pirates are ‘just some dumbass fogeys trying to act like Tom Sawyer‘, but Leona seems to have a thing for pirates and suggests they ‘could be some hot young guys‘! Personally, I hate pirates…so I wouldn’t care. Leona quickly returns to reality as cannonballs start plummeting into the city and she rushes the party into the workshop. With the pressure of the pirate attack looming behind her, Leona tries to decide what technique and supplies would be the best combination for a ship, but Shot snaps at her and tells her we don’t need the best ship – we just need a damn ship! She throws something together (called Yacht, but it’s more like a warship) and the party runs to the southern dock to set sail. Shot is all gung ho about tearing the pirates up but…

Oh Leona…ever the perfectionist. I totally understand missing out on the small details when you’re trying to be the best.

Leona forgot the engine! Unable to steer the ship, the party drifts around the port and eventually get swept out into the sea. Once the ship stops drifting, Shot thinks he sees an island and gets off the ship to explore. After climbing aboard, he immediately gets grossed out and swims back to the ship, claiming the island is all slippery and slimy. Chun hears some kind of moaning and asks the rest of the party if they hear anything. They all hear another moan and are certain that a sea monster is coming for them. A bellowing “W H O  A R E  Y O U ?” comes from below their ship and Leona recognizes the “sea monster” is the whale that we saved waaaaay back at the beginning of the game. The whale thanks us again for saving him and asks what we’re doing out in the middle of the sea. Leona explains that she forgot install the engine when she made the ship, so the whale volunteers to be our engine and tows our ship back to Dictator so we can fix the engine.  What a sweet whale! After we make the repairs, we head off to the western continent of Illuse and infiltrate the Pirate’s Hideout!

We made it to the pirates’ hideout, but no one is here?

Our party starts to form a battle plan on how to take care of the pirates, but Leona suddenly takes off to scout ahead. Shot and Chun both make note that she’s been acting strange and take off after her to make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble. There isn’t much to explore in the hideout just yet, as no one is here. When we arrive at the dining hall, we find Leona tied up and a group of pirates waiting for our heroes to arrive. Shot directs Chun to untie Leona before he starts hurling insults at the pirate leader to distract him. They share some banter and the pirate leader Vangas gets more and more irritated, but this exchange has given Chun enough time to work his telekinesis magic and he frees Leona. As the party reunites, Vangas has had enough and launches an attack. Queue another (easy) boss fight!

Shot called them lizards…and they look like lizards. But they claim they aren’t? I don’t get it.

After the battle, Leona apologizes to everyone. Chun comments that Leona has been rather reckless lately and she shares that she’s feeling insecure about her contributions to the group. She ran ahead of everyone because she wanted to prove herself. Chun reassures her that the whole party sees her value and that she keeps a coward like him and a flake like Shot steady on their mission. Shot chimes in and says that she doesn’t need to do anything special to prove herself and that friendship is about trusting and relying on each other. They share a touching moment, but then Shot starts chasing Chun around the room for calling him a flake. Leona laughs, but Eliza lets out a shriek, noticing that Vangas is back on his feet. The party is ready to lay the smackdown on him again, but he urges them to chill out and he apologizes for fighting them earlier. Chun doesn’t care and shouts that too many people have suffered because of the pirates and Balam, but Vangas scoffs and questions why they think he works for ‘that rotten heretic‘. As they continue their standoff, one of the pirate lackeys runs in and lets everyone know that the entrance to the hideout is caving in.

What’s causing this cave in?

Our heroes and the pirates all rush to the dock to find a monster floating in the water. The monster tells everyone that they are all enemies of Master Balam and that he will send them all to the underworld as he teleports away and really amps up the cave in. As they watch the dock get destroyed, Vangas tells the party that he recognizes that monster as Pilder, Balam’s jester. As they are watching the cave in and discussing their next move, a large boulder falls onto Eliza, knocking her out. The party drags her inside and Shot asks Vangas if there is any other way to get out of the pirate hideout so they can go get help for her. Vangas rips a flag off the back wall of the dining room and tells them they can escape through there, but the path is full of monsters. This doesn’t intimidate our party, so Vangas and Shot call a temporary truce and Vangas joins our party. We leave Eliza in care of the pirates before climbing up the ladder to head out of the escape hatch.

I’ll end this bit here. Man – a lot happened this time. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and see ya next time!

Click here to head to part 9 of The Magical Land of Wozz!

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